Achievements Unlocked
Don't worry, metagaming is all that matters.

Hardcore random points
Well, I might be a blind, deaf, crippled guy, but hey, at least I'm alive.

Maintenance Pills Consumed
Wait why?

Centcom Grade: Shitty Service
Well, you at least tried. How about trying harder?

Clickbait
Where's my free smartphone?!?

God's Wrath
Did you think you could get away with defiling the word of God?

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.

Mister Sandman
Mechanically speaking, there's no real benefit to being unconscious during surgery. Weird how insistent this doctor is about using the N2O anyway though, huh?

Nightwatcher's Eyes
You've risen above the flames, became one with the ashes. You've been reborn as one with the Nightwatcher.

Round and Full
Well at least you aren't down the river, I hear they eat people there.