Achievements Unlocked
Don't worry, metagaming is all that matters.

Blood-Drunk Miners Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Bosses Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Bubblegums Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Hierophants Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Maintenance Pills Consumed
Wait why?

Tendril Score
Watch your step

Tourists Served as Bartender Highscore
Your highscore on serving tourist bots as bartender.

Blood-drunk Miner Crusher
I guess he couldn't handle his drink that well.

Blood-drunk Miner Killer
I guess he couldn't handle his drink that well.

Boss Killer
You've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Bubblegum Killer
I guess he wasn't made of candy after all

Centcom Grade: Acceptable Service
Well, it'll do! You and your department did just fine.

Centcom Grade: Shitty Service
Well, you at least tried. How about trying harder?

Hierophant Crusher
Hierophant, but not triumphant.

Hierophant Killer
Hierophant, but not triumphant.

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.

I Was a Teenage Anarchist
You were doing a great job sticking it to the system until that vending machine decided to fight back.

KKKiiilll mmmeee
You were a little too ambitious, but hey, I guess you're still alive?

Long shift
Well, that didn't take long.

Tendril Exterminator
Watch your step