Achievements Unlocked
Don't worry, metagaming is all that matters.

Bosses Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Bubblegums Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Tourists Served as Bartender Highscore
Your highscore on serving tourist bots as bartender.

Boss Killer
You've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Bubblegum Killer
I guess he wasn't made of candy after all

Centcom Grade: Acceptable Service
Well, it'll do! You and your department did just fine.

Centcom Grade: Shitty Service
Well, you at least tried. How about trying harder?

Clickbait
Where's my free smartphone?!?

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.