Achievements Unlocked
Don't worry, metagaming is all that matters.

Hardcore random points
Well, I might be a blind, deaf, crippled guy, but hey, at least I'm alive.

Maintenance Pills Consumed
Wait why?

Tourists Served as Bartender Highscore
Your highscore on serving tourist bots as bartender.

Assistant Victory
If you got killed instead of someone more important, you just flexed the true strength of your """"role"""".

Centcom Grade: Shitty Service
Well, you at least tried. How about trying harder?

HA, GOTTEM
Made you look!

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.

Legendary fisher
Give a spaceman a fish and you feed him for a while; teach a spaceman to fish and you feed him until the shuttle arrives.

My Watchlist Status is Not Important
You may be under the impression that violent video games are a harmless pastime, but the security and medical personnel swarming your location with batons and knockout gas look like they disagree.

Outdebted
I've paid my dues, shift after shift... I've done my sentence but commited no griff...

Secrets behind the Spider Door
You managed to open a gate into the mansus.

The Best Driver
100 honks later

The Last Act
You managed to become the ringleader and slay the lie.

Your Life Before Your Eyes
Take a close look at hurtling space debris