Achievements Unlocked
Don't worry, metagaming is all that matters.

Bosses Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Hierophants Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Tourists Served as Bartender Highscore
Your highscore on serving tourist bots as bartender.

Tourists Served as Chef Highscore
Your highscore on serving tourist bots as chef.

Boss Killer
You've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Centcom Grade: Acceptable Service
Well, it'll do! You and your department did just fine.

Centcom Grade: Shitty Service
Well, you at least tried. How about trying harder?

Hierophant Killer
Hierophant, but not triumphant.

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.

Your Life Before Your Eyes
Take a close look at hurtling space debris