Achievements Unlocked
Don't worry, metagaming is all that matters.

Blood-Drunk Miners Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Bosses Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Hardcore random points
Well, I might be a blind, deaf, crippled guy, but hey, at least I'm alive.

Hierophants Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Maintenance Pills Consumed
Wait why?

Tendril Score
Watch your step

Tourists Served as Bartender Highscore
Your highscore on serving tourist bots as bartender.

Tourists Served as Chef Highscore
Your highscore on serving tourist bots as chef.

Blood-drunk Miner Crusher
I guess he couldn't handle his drink that well.

Blood-drunk Miner Killer
I guess he couldn't handle his drink that well.

Boss Killer
You've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Centcom Grade: Acceptable Service
Well, it'll do! You and your department did just fine.

Centcom Grade: Shitty Service
Well, you at least tried. How about trying harder?

Clickbait
Where's my free smartphone?!?

Getting an upgrade
Make your first unique material item!

Hierophant Crusher
Hierophant, but not triumphant.

Hierophant Killer
Hierophant, but not triumphant.

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.

Legendary fisher
Give a spaceman a fish and you feed him for a while; teach a spaceman to fish and you feed him until the shuttle arrives.

Tendril Exterminator
Watch your step