Achievements Unlocked
Don't worry, metagaming is all that matters.

Bosses Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Hardcore random points
Well, I might be a blind, deaf, crippled guy, but hey, at least I'm alive.

Hierophants Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Boss Killer
You've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Clickbait
Where's my free smartphone?!?

Hierophant Killer
Hierophant, but not triumphant.

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.

Your Life Before Your Eyes
Take a close look at hurtling space debris