Bosses Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Bubblegums Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Hardcore random points
Well, I might be a blind, deaf, crippled guy, but hey, at least I'm alive.

Boss Killer
You've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Bubblegum Killer
I guess he wasn't made of candy after all

Getting an upgrade
Make your first unique material item!

HA, GOTTEM
Made you look!

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.

I Was a Teenage Anarchist
You were doing a great job sticking it to the system until that vending machine decided to fight back.

KKKiiilll mmmeee
You were a little too ambitious, but hey, I guess you're still alive?

Legendary miner
No mere rock can stop me!

Long shift
Well, that didn't take long.

My Watchlist Status is Not Important
You may be under the impression that violent video games are a harmless pastime, but the security and medical personnel swarming your location with batons and knockout gas look like they disagree.