Achievements Unlocked
Don't worry, metagaming is all that matters.

Bosses Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Hierophants Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Intento Score
A blast from the future?

Tourists Served as Bartender Highscore
Your highscore on serving tourist bots as bartender.

Boss Killer
You've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Centcom Grade: Acceptable Service
Well, it'll do! You and your department did just fine.

Centcom Grade: Shitty Service
Well, you at least tried. How about trying harder?

Hierophant Killer
Hierophant, but not triumphant.

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.