Blood-Drunk Miners Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Bosses Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Hardcore random points
Well, I might be a blind, deaf, crippled guy, but hey, at least I'm alive.

Hierophants Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Maintenance Pills Consumed
Wait why?

Tourists Served as Bartender Highscore
Your highscore on serving tourist bots as bartender.

Blood-drunk Miner Killer
I guess he couldn't handle his drink that well.

Boss Killer
You've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Centcom Grade: Shitty Service
Well, you at least tried. How about trying harder?

Clickbait
Where's my free smartphone?!?

Getting an upgrade
Make your first unique material item!

HA, GOTTEM
Made you look!

Head of Personnel Victory
King of Assistants, waster of a single mafia's night, thrower of games.

Head of Security Victory
Certified not shitcurity.

Hierophant Crusher
Hierophant, but not triumphant.

Hierophant Killer
Hierophant, but not triumphant.

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.

I Was a Teenage Anarchist
You were doing a great job sticking it to the system until that vending machine decided to fight back.

Perfect chemistry blossom
Passed the chemistry tutorial with perfect purity!

Tram Surfer
Lights out, guerilla radio!