Achievements Unlocked
Don't worry, metagaming is all that matters.

Bosses Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Drakes Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Hardcore random points
Well, I might be a blind, deaf, crippled guy, but hey, at least I'm alive.

Hierophants Killed
You've killed HOW many?

Tourists Served as Bartender Highscore
Your highscore on serving tourist bots as bartender.

Boss Killer
You've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Centcom Grade: Shitty Service
Well, you at least tried. How about trying harder?

Clickbait
Where's my free smartphone?!?

Drake Killer
Now I can wear Rune Platebodies!

Fugitive Victory
I'm just the description on an achievement, but if you end up having to choose between town and changelings, go changelings.

Hierophant Killer
Hierophant, but not triumphant.

How Do I Switch Hands???
If you saw someone casually club themselves upside the head with a toolbox anywhere in the galaxy but here, you'd probably be pretty concerned for them.

Perfect chemistry blossom
Passed the chemistry tutorial with perfect purity!