{
    "data": [
        "This is captain Melane Archner, speaking. We have had a sucessful shift today, and are ready to prepare for departure. We have vaporized a supermatter with our new doomsday device that could end the entire world as we know it, and in doing so maybe kinda caused everyone to have mass hallucinations permanently. Whoops! That being said, I am calling evacuation for a routine shift transfer."
    ],
    "parser": null,
    "id": 12418111,
    "datetime": {
        "date": "2026-09-13 22:59:59.000000",
        "timezone_type": 3,
        "timezone": "UTC"
    },
    "round": 263944,
    "key": "shuttle_reason",
    "type": "text",
    "version": 1,
    "json": "{\"data\":[\"This is captain Melane Archner, speaking. We have had a sucessful shift today, and are ready to prepare for departure. We have vaporized a supermatter with our new doomsday device that could end the entire world as we know it, and in doing so maybe kinda caused everyone to have mass hallucinations permanently. Whoops! That being said, I am calling evacuation for a routine shift transfer.\"]}",
    "originalUrl": null
}